June 12, 2006

Firm allows challenges to lethal injections

The partnership of the Firm on Monday kept alive the appeals of two associates in the Los Angeles office, deciding they are entitled to challenge the Firm's lethal injection method of behavior modification for unruly assocoates. Since 1983, the Firm has regularly executed associates who were failing to meet the billable hour requirement, but following Justice Kennedy's Supreme Court opinion, the Firm announced a change to its policy, allowing the injection policy to be debated in conference room 24B next Tuesday at 4:00 PM. The partnership cautioned that its ruling should not be read to assume that the injections will not take place, just that there will be an additional level of scrutiny before associates are killed.

Lethal injections came into vogue as a more humane method of getting rid of associates than electrocution, but many human rights groups have recently urged that associates not be killed at all. Said a partner at the Firm who wished to remain anonymous, "That's taking things a little too far. But we'll at least pretend to look into it for a week."
Contact: jeremy@anonymouslawfirm.com. © 2006 Henry Holt and Company.