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Notable Experience
Mr. Shore joined the firm straight out of law school, lured by the promise of interesting cases, nights out in New York City, and an atmosphere full of energy, not realizing that he would essentially remain chattel for the firm's exlusive use. Being a diligent attorney, he has not seen one inning of one Yankee game, and instead spends up to 16 hours a day deciphering corporate memorandae written decades before he was born. His heart's desire is to be the firm's ideal employee... at least on the surface.
Hobbies/Interests
Taping phone conversations with partners to immunize self against unfavorable performance reviews; blogging about his law firm experience and other indiscretions; reading the Wall Street Journal and Financial Times cover-to-cover to stave off work as long as possible.
Family
They're a total inconvenience and completely lack understanding about my indentured servitude status.
Best Experience at the Firm
"The corporate facade that allows - and encourages - good old fashioned pillaging. Gone are the days when might meant right in general society, but our great nation still tolerates white-collar theft wherein lawyers and executives rob shareholders blind of their fortunes in restructuring, merging, bankruptcy, and general (mis)management. Even if we're caught by an overly zealous Attorney General or the SEC, we know we'll never serve time because we can toss a few bucks at the right politicians or PACs and we're as good as gold."
Worst Experience at the Firm
"Secretaries. Efficiently utilizing secretaries and other staff is difficult, but can be accomplished by simply giving them more work. If they seem irritable with more work, try supplementing with unflattering comments about their laziness and homeliness. Failing that, you may need to bring some temps into the picture to create a sense of urgency. With practice, you'll find that the staff's emotions can be used to manipulate them into doing all sorts of things to gain your approval or (unlikely) praise."
Advice to Law Students
"There are more noble callings than being a lawyer, especially at a firm like this. However, if you want to become a pasty-thighed, white-collared desk slave, our firm is first-rate. If you feel an ounce of manhood left coursing through your veins, however, consider becoming anything else. I suggest becoming an entrepreneur: Not only is an entrepreneur the least routinized occupation in the world, but it's also the profession that is completely the opposite of working at a big firm like this."
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